Marriage in the Orthodox Church is not just a legal union. It is a sacrament: a mystery in which God Himself unites a man and a woman. Every part of the service has a deep meaning, carried through prayers, symbols, and blessings that come from the very early centuries of Christianity.
The Day Before the Wedding
The bride and groom do not spend the day in parties or distractions. Traditionally, it is a day of prayer, fasting, and confession. They come to the sacrament with a clean heart, asking God to bless their union. In some places, the couple may confess and receive Holy Communion the morning of the wedding or the day before.
The Wedding Day
Who Enters First in the Church?
Unlike Western weddings, the bride does not "walk down the aisle". In an Orthodox wedding, the groom waits at the front. The bride enters with her family, and the couple stands together before the priest at the center of the church. It is not a show, but a prayer.
The Koumbaros/Koumbara
In an Orthodox wedding, the role of the koumbaros (male sponsor) or koumbara (female sponsor) is essential. This is not just a best man or maid of honor: it is a spiritual role.
The koumbaros exchanges the rings, holds the crowns during the service, and becomes a lifelong witness and supporter of the couple's marriage.
Much like a godparent in baptism, the koumbaros stands as a guarantor before God and the Church that this union is real and will be nurtured.
The Celebration in the Church
The Betrothal
The wedding begins with the Betrothal, usually at the entrance of the church. Here the rings are blessed by the priest and placed on the couple's right hands by the koumbaros or koumbara. The rings are exchanged back and forth three times, showing that each person’s life now belongs to the other, and that their union is sealed not only in promise but in God’s blessing.
After the Betrothal, the couple moves further into the church for the Crowning, the heart of the marriage service.
The Crowning
The most visible and powerful moment is when the priest places crowns (or wreaths) on the heads of the bride and groom. These are not "royal crowns" in a worldly sense, but crowns of martyrdom and victory. The couple is crowned as king and queen of their new home, but also as martyrs - witnesses who lay down their lives for each other in love.
The crowns are tied together with a ribbon, showing that the two are now one flesh. The priest leads them three times around the Gospel and the altar table, in a joyful dance of unity before God.
Communion
In some Orthodox traditions, when the wedding is celebrated within the Divine Liturgy, the bride and groom receive Holy Communion together. This moment above all shows that their marriage is not only a bond between two people but a union in Christ. If the wedding is not combined with Liturgy, the couple is expected to commune together at the next Divine Liturgy, affirming that their life as husband and wife begins at the Chalice.
No Vows
There are no vows in an Orthodox wedding. The words of the priest, the prayers, and the crowning itself are what join the couple.
How Long Does the Wedding Take?
The Orthodox marriage service usually lasts 30 to 45 minutes, depending on whether it is combined with the Divine Liturgy. It is solemn, full of prayers, hymns, and blessings (not rushed, but not excessively long either).
Other Things to Know
- In many Orthodox weddings, the couple drinks from a shared cup of wine, symbolizing that they now share one life.
- The crowns may be kept in the home after the wedding as a reminder of the sacrament.
- Guests stand for the entire service, as is usual in Orthodox churches.
- There is no "till death do us part". The Orthodox vision of marriage is eternal, carried into the Kingdom of God.
The Church’s Teaching on Marriage
Interfaith Marriage in the Orthodox Church
Marriage to another Orthodox Christian is the norm and the ideal. Marriage to a non-Orthodox Christian (like Roman Catholic, Protestant) is possible but not automatic.
It requires the bishop’s blessing, and usually only if the non-Orthodox partner is a baptized Christian who agrees the children will be raised Orthodox.
Marriage to a non-Christian (Muslim, Jew, Atheist, etc.) is not permitted in the Orthodox Church. So, in the case of an Orthodox with Roman Catholic marriage:
- It can be blessed in the Orthodox Church with the bishop’s approval.
- The Catholic spouse does not have to convert, but the Church strongly encourages it, or at least a commitment to raise children Orthodox.
- The wedding service is always the Orthodox rite (it cannot be a "joint ceremony" with Catholic clergy inside the same service).
- If the couple marries outside the Orthodox Church (e.g., in a Catholic parish), the Orthodox Church will not recognize the marriage sacramentally.
Same-Sex Marriage in the Orthodox Church
The Orthodox Church teaches that marriage is only between one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage is not recognized, nor can it be blessed in the Church. This is not a matter of social opinion but of theology: marriage is an icon of Christ and His Church.
Divorce in the Orthodox Church
The Church does allow divorce, but with pain and as an exception, not the rule. Grounds usually include:
- Adultery
- Abandonment
- Abuse or danger to life
- Loss of faith that destroys the marriage
A person who divorces can, with the bishop's blessing, remarry in the Church - but the second and third marriages have a more penitential service.
When a couple seeks a divorce, the process involves:
- A pastoral investigation - the priest meets with the couple, hears both sides, and tries to reconcile them if possible. Divorce is always seen as a tragedy, so the first step is to see if healing can happen.
- Report to the bishop - the parish priest cannot grant a divorce. He sends his findings to the bishop (or sometimes a church tribunal, depending on the jurisdiction)
- The bishop’s judgment - the bishop examines the case and decides whether there are legitimate grounds. If he grants a divorce, it is accompanied by an ecclesiastical decree.
- Conditions on remarriage - if allowed, a second (or third) marriage requires his blessing. The service is penitential: less joyful, more sober in tone to show that the ideal has been broken.
Conclusion
An Orthodox wedding is not about dresses, rings, or a stage performance. It is about two souls being united in Christ, crowned to bear each other’s burdens, and beginning a journey of holiness together.
Marriage in the Church is a calling - not just to be happy, but to be holy.
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